A catch-22 situation for me

I had never imagined that I will come across such a situation ever where I will dump myself as far as she is concerned. There had been certain instances that infuriated me but all she was concerned, that resentment was no where to be noticed. Meanwhile while I had been trying to get her on call, trying hard to call her, I found myself too much concerned. It was just too stupid of me to have been too much involved with someone for whom I had just been a mere friend. I tried hard the whole night to get away with her thoughts but every single time, I tried, I failed to concentrate anywhere else. I had simply been damn too worried that night and been getting nightmares without any reason. It was next to impossible for me to just get her away from my heart and mind as well. The same night I promised certain things to myself and the very next day I tried to strictly adhere to that. I opted out of the social networking sites so that it might be easy for her to get away and me too. Because of my obsession, it is really going to be tough for me at least for some days to get away with her thoughts, but I do not think there is a way out. I cannot commit myself to her as there is no future for this relationship even if I call this one or even if this gets to the next stage. I knew that she might feel bad in case I do not tell her any thing about this demeanor, and so everything went against me, someone who is very fond of her. I have lost my value now in her thoughts and I am a worthless guy now. But I still have a deep obsessed feeling towards her and will have the same feeling in the future to come. I will remember her through my diary entries and in my thoughts as well. Sorry my love ….

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